What 18 Years of Living With Severe Eczema Actually Taught Me About Soap, Timing, and Restraint

What 18 Years of Living With Severe Eczema Actually Taught Me About Soap, Timing, and Restraint

I’ve lived with eczema longer than I’ve lived without it.

Not personally, but through my child. And not mild eczema. Severe eczema. The kind that doesn’t respond to wishful thinking, trendy ingredients, or internet advice.

Over the last 18 years, we’ve been through everything:

  • Fluticasone

  • Mometasone

  • Triamcinolone

  • Stronger prescriptions

  • Rotations, tapers, breaks

  • Dermatologists, specialists, second opinions

Today, my son is on an injectable biologic, because his eczema is severe enough to require it. That matters, because it immediately rules out a lot of nonsense.

Soap is not a cure for eczema.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you.

But here’s the part that often gets ignored:
Even when you’re on prescription treatment, you still have to get clean.
And how you do that matters.

The Biggest Myth: One Soap That Works All the Time

Most skincare marketing is built around permanence:

“This is the one bar you’ll ever need.”
“Safe for all skin types.”
“Use daily, forever.”

That framing doesn’t survive real eczema.

Eczema isn’t static.
Skin isn’t static.
Medication doesn’t make skin invincible.

My son’s skin in January is not the same as his skin in July. His skin after sweating all day is not the same as his skin during a dry winter flare. Expecting one bar of soap to handle all of that is unrealistic, and often harmful.

What I Learned the Hard Way: Timing Matters More Than Ingredients

Here’s the lesson that took years to learn:

Even good ingredients can be wrong at the wrong time.

Pine tar is a perfect example.

Pine tar has legitimate, research-backed benefits. It’s anti-inflammatory. It reduces itching. It has a long history of use in dermatology for eczema and psoriasis.

And yet...
my son cannot use pine tar year-round.

Why Pine Tar Works for Him in Summer but Not Winter

In the summer:

  • He sweats more

  • His skin holds moisture better

  • There’s more microbial activity on the skin

  • Oil production is higher

This is when pine tar can actually be helpful.

Used occasionally, sometimes weekly, it helps calm irritation from sweat and reduces itching. It supports balance without overwhelming the skin.

But in the winter?

  • His skin is already dry

  • The air is dry

  • Hot showers strip moisture faster

At that point, pine tar is simply too much, even though it’s a “good” ingredient.

Same child.
Same soap.
Completely different outcome.

Why “Sensitive Skin” Is an Oversimplification

My son is extremely sensitive to fragrance. Not mildly. Not occasionally. Consistently.

Synthetic fragrance? Almost always a problem.
Strong essential oil blends? Often a problem.

And yet, this surprises people, every bar of soap we make causes him no issues. Every single one.

That didn’t happen by accident.

It happened because we stopped chasing intensity and started focusing on:

  • Low fragrance load

  • Gentle formulations

  • How the skin feels after the shower, not just during

Sensitivity isn’t about avoiding everything.
It’s about avoiding excess.

Why He Prefers Creamy, Clay-Based Soaps Most of the Time

Most of the year, my son reaches for smoother, creamier soaps, especially those with clay.

Clay doesn’t try to “fix” eczema. And that’s exactly why it works.

Clay:

  • Absorbs gently instead of stripping

  • Helps balance oil without shocking the skin

  • Leaves the skin calm, not tight

For someone with chronically dry skin, that matters more than aggressive cleansing ever will.

Daily soap should not fight the skin.
It should stay out of the way.

Adsorption vs Absorption: Why This Matters More Than People Think

Charcoal and clay are often treated as interchangeable. They’re not.

Charcoal works through adsorption, binding oils and debris to its surface. It’s effective, but indiscriminate. For eczema-prone skin, that can mean removing oils the skin desperately needs.

Clay works through absorption, slowly drawing excess oil inward like a sponge. It’s gentler, more controlled, and easier on the skin barrier.

Pine tar doesn’t fit either category, it works biologically, calming inflammation rather than aggressively removing oil.

This distinction alone explains why some “natural” soaps feel harsh while others quietly work.

The Real Strategy: Rotation, Not Reliance

Here’s the advice I wish someone had given me a decade ago:

Stop looking for one soap. Start building a rotation.

For us, that looks like:

  • A creamy, clay-based bar for regular use

  • A pine tar bar used occasionally or seasonally

  • Minimal fragrance, always

Pine tar becomes a tool, not a habit.
Clay becomes the foundation.

This approach reduced flare-ups more than any single “miracle” product ever did.

Teenage Years Changed the Conversation: Enter Deodorant

As my son entered his teenage years, a new problem showed up—one that a lot of “sensitive skin” advice completely ignores.

He needed deodorant.

And nearly every mainstream deodorant made his skin worse.

Aluminum-based antiperspirants caused irritation.
Baking soda formulas caused burning and rashes.
Strong fragrance made everything worse.

So we had to solve the same problem all over again—but for a different product.

Why We Formulated Our Own Natural Deodorant

We ended up formulating a deodorant that:

  • Uses arrowroot powder for gentle moisture control

  • Is aluminum-free

  • Is baking soda–free

  • Relies on minimal, thoughtful scent profiles

  • Most importantly: does not irritate his skin

Just like soap, deodorant wasn’t about finding something “strong.”
It was about finding something compatible.

Teenage skin is already reactive. Add severe eczema to the mix, and the margin for error disappears.

Nothing we offer is something I wouldn’t give to my own kid—because we already did.

Medical Reality: Soap and Deodorant Are Not Cures—and That’s Okay

Let me be clear:

Soap did not cure my son’s eczema.
Deodorant did not “fix” his skin.
Medication addresses immune dysfunction.

Daily-use products address daily life.

They don’t replace medical care.
They support it.

And when you live with severe eczema long-term, that distinction becomes non-negotiable.

Why We Make Products the Way We Do

Our goal has never been to promise miracles.

Our goal is simpler:

  • Remove unnecessary irritants

  • Reduce risk

  • Offer the safest, gentlest handmade options we know how to make

Soap shouldn’t be another flare trigger.
Deodorant shouldn’t be a gamble.

After nearly two decades of trial, error, and attention, this is where we landed.

Final Thoughts: Experience Teaches Restraint

Eighteen years of severe eczema taught me something most marketing never will:

The goal isn’t perfect skin.
The goal is fewer bad days.

Good soap won’t fix everything.
Bad soap can make everything worse.

Timing matters.
Rotation matters.
Gentleness matters.

And sometimes, the smartest thing you can do, for yourself or your kid, is keep more than one bar on the shelf, choose carefully, and respect what the skin is telling you.

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